Our People
Surviving COVID-19
by Lance M. Wilson, MSS, LSW, C-SWHC
What most people know about the COVID-19 pandemic is that it has forced us to learn and demonstrate new things such as, quarantining and social distancing. Both things are useful and necessary in order to contain a widespread pandemic such as COVID-19.
But, there is something else that many people are struggling with right now even in the “safety” of their own home.
That thing is people’s ability to cope right now. Since the news was broken about COVID-19 and the protocols were set in place, there are a number of other issues on the rise that we don’t always talk about. Those incidents being maladaptive or suboptimal coping behaviors. The reason I don’t want to call the coping behaviors “unhealthy” is due to the understanding that everyone copes in their own way. Though it is suggested that certain coping behaviors are favored or deemed as more appropriate they also are not the only ways to cope. This becomes more evident by higher incidences of things such as domestic violence and child abuse. Both statistically are on the rise while many people are quarantining together with their loved ones, children, etc.
My hope is that after reading this, you are more aware of what is happening during the pandemic and also find some of the tips mentioned helpful in keeping peace in your individual lives and for maintaining your own mental health during these days of social isolation.
Primarily, it is important to take pressure off yourself. During this time resist the urge of comparing yourself to what others are doing during quarantine. Comparison to other individuals can be toxic and self-sabotaging to your mind and spirit. It is okay to feel stressed, overwhelmed, uncertain, depressed, anxious, apathetic, or have mixed emotions. These feelings are normal responses that are taking place because we (as a society) are experiencing a macro level trauma. This means for many of us, our “go to” coping strategies or self-soothing activities are unable to handle the amount of emotional distress that is being brought forth during this time. Before exploring some tips for surviving quarantine and social distancing, we should first go over what are thought to be more negative manifestations of coping.
Suboptimal/Maladaptive Coping
- Increased use of substances (i.e. alcohol, tobacco, and other recreational substances that alter reality perception)
- Poor Sleep Hygiene (extreme fatigue or insomnia)
- Over-eating or not eating at all • Difficulty concentrating or not being able to focus
- Withdrawing (from loved ones and favorite activities)
- Irritability/Impatience/Becoming easily aggravated (outbursts – verbal/physical)
- Increased Impulsivity/Instant Gratification
What can we do during our isolation that can aid in the survival of our minds, spirits, and bodies?!
Strategies on coping with COVID-19:
Photo Credit – Google
- Go on a Media Diet
- Take a break from the places where you access news events and constant updates about the effects of COVID-19 on the general society. Repeatedly being exposed to these things can cause spikes in anxiety and depression by re-traumatization.
- Do Something for Your Body
- Be mindful of how much “lounging” you do within a day
- Set aside time that is specifically used to decompress and MOVE. Due to many gyms and exercise classes being closed/canceled, and with stress eating on the rise it has become all too easy to overindulge in food throughout the day and not exert enough energy to burn it off. If you find yourself not knowing where to start many exercise and fitness instructors are hosting cyber fitness classes and posting workout recordings on various social media platforms.
- Continue to Practice Healthy Life Activities
- Eating a balanced diet/cooking at home as opposed to eating take-out
- Staying hydrated
- Be mindful of snacking throughout the day
- Attempt to practice good sleep hygiene – (about 7hrs a night)
- Stay Connected
- We as humans are social creatures and place a lot of emphasis on our relationships outside of ourselves. Using social media, texting, phone calls, and video chat are great ways to stay in communication with people we hold in high regard.
- Take Time to Indulge in Hobbies
- This is a time where many of the activities/projects that we are typically unable to do, usually because there are not enough hours in the day – we now have time to make progress on some of these activities.
- REMINDER, not being productive in this time is also completely understandable
- Take YOU time
- Set aside time to do an inventory of your feelings and your thoughts in the moment. The exercise is not so much to answer “why” you are feeling/thinking these things (that comes later), but more so to sit and identify those thoughts and feelings as being present. Be kind and patient with yourself, but also be authentic during this practice.
- For those who practice religion/spirituality – this could look like meditation or speaking to your higher power.
- If you are not sure where to start try setting aside 15 minutes a day where you shut off from the outside world and sit with yourself with the sole intention of doing a check in with you. While doing this you might experience some unpleasant feelings – And that’s okay.
- If you decide that you need some additional structure there are many FREE apps for mobile devices that can guide you through Mindfulness exercises.
- If you feel like you are at risk for wanting to harm or kill yourself PLEASE CALL 911 or report to your nearest Emergency Room.
- If you feel as though you want to speak to a mental health professional, many are actively participating in tele-therapy via different online chatting platforms.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Hotline
800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line
Text HOME to 741-741
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
Treatment Referral Routing Service
800-662-4357
Lonyo Holmes is the 59 year old business owner of Q&A Wholesale Smoke Shop, the only African American owned smoke shop in the city, located at 2749 Kensington Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19134, the heart of the Kensington epidemic. Along side his wife Tiesha Chandler, they celebrated 8 years in October 2022, while defending his turf from would-be thieves, and illegal solicitors. Combined with the setback of having his store robbed during the pandemic and failing to secure all but a PPA loan for his business, he’s felt everything. To this day he’s struggles to pay rent due to the economic side effects of an unchecked drug epidemic that deters those interested in learning more about this unique community space.
“During the pandemic one of my folks hit my phone and told me “yo, someone broke into your store. They broke in through the window”. So, me and my wife Tiesha go check it out… Man, they hit my displays, shelves, they cleaned me out. They left me with over 20,000 dollars in losses.”
Long before 2022, Lonyo opened his store to build and promote events by community members. So far he’s held shows around spoken word, and hip-hop, while hosting givebacks to the community, meet and greets and more. “Everyday I’m fighting for my livelihood. If I don’t open this shop, I don’t eat.”
Despite the challenges, the fight to survive lives on. These days Mr. Holmes spends his time selling food outside to keep the rent paid. “I started selling more food and water ice because that’s the only reason people were coming to my store. I gotta do something if no one is coming here to even buy a lighter”.
One of Philadelphia’s local celebrities, DJ Dior, found inspiration at Q&A, using it as space to provide food for the homeless and a give back with donations provided by Unapologetically Imperfect and The YMCA (North Philly Branch).
Mr Holmes continues to innovate his space, despite his environmental challenges. This past yr he’s added a stage, speakers and more for those blooming artist, both visual and musical. “This area is still a great space. The sound is good, the people are good and spirits here are good as well.“
Bryan Carter: What kind of work do you do in the community?
Lonyo Holmes: We feed the community as much as possible, primarily Friday and Saturday with our nonprofit Samaritans of Service. If we see someone in dire need, we’re here to help.
BC: What are you doing, or considering to rebuild your business?
LH: We are considering a way back – come to our establishment, get ya hair cut (Mr. Holmes is a certified barber), get your ID, or gently used clothes to get employed so folks can get on their feet. We also work with Take Back Philly and Momma Love Soulfood with a Twist where we give out large platters of food. DJ Dior was instrumental in meeting Alicia Joyner, CEO of Take Back Philly. Start between 4:30 and 5:30pm for an hr or until the food is gone. The donations we receive from The Rock Ministries and Richards and Friends United in the Community allows us to bless the rest of the ppl in line. We also deliver to different clothing outlets around the Aramingo area, and to orgs who share our donations with their audience.
BC: How can others get involved?
LH: I’ll tell you how to help our people and our city… Show up. We’re out here every Friday, 11am to 2pm unloading trucks, packing cars, delivers etc. and any help from you would be greatly appreciated.
If you would like to support Mr. Holmes and his community work, check out his event space, and more? Please visit 2749 Kensington Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19134 or call (267) 584-8354.
Go to school. Get a good education. Get a good job and open a bank account. Does this sound familiar? Most of us heard this from our parents. Most of us have been indoctrinated to believe that this formula would lead us to our dream life. How has that worked out? I refer to this as a covert poverty mindset. Our parents taught us this because that’s all they knew. If we don’t learn something different then we will most likely teach this to our children, and that covert poverty mindset will linger in our communities for at least another generation. Now, more than ever, we need effective and relevant financial literacy education.
- Establish an emergency fund: You should have 3-6 months of your financial obligations saved up for the purpose of protecting against unforeseen events. Studies show that more than half of American families have less than $1000 in savings and therefore struggle to survive the occurrence of even a minor financial emergency. (CNBC.com, “Here’s How Much Money Americans Have in Their Savings Accounts,” September 13, 2017)
- Get proper income protection: The industry refers to it as life insurance. I prefer the term income protection because many people believe that insurance will repair or replace the item that is insured. However, life insurance can not and will not replace a life. It will replace income. Many families lost loved ones due to COVID-19 and since many of those lost were not properly covered, their families had to endure an additional hardship trying to finance the cost of final services for their loved one.
- The last concept that I work to teach families is, “Pay yourself first.” By that I mean prioritize and put money away for retirement. Learning concepts like the “high cost of waiting” and the “time value of money” help create the necessary urgency around investing. True financial freedom occurs when your investment income matches or exceeds that of your earned income. 75% of Americans admit to wishing that they had started planning for retirement earlier than they did. (2016 Wells Fargo Retirement Study)
When I work with families, I use these concepts, along with some others: like the rule of 72 and dollar cost averaging, to help them. I’ve found that many people because of the lack of information are unable to take advantage of, and benefit from the knowledge of the rules of the money game. It doesn’t matter what game you play, if you do not know the rules you are a lot less likely to win. Therefore educating families about the strategies to win, positions them in a much better place to do so. I believe the solution to better finances starts with education. The next step is to develop a plan and lastly to get a coach to help you implement and stick to the plan.
There are financial coaches, like myself, who are actively looking for individuals and families that want to succeed at the money game. Actively looking for people who are willing to open their minds to trying something that may be different. In this regard, financial health is very similar to physical health. When you need to assess or verify that your physical health is in order, you go see a doctor or health care professional for a checkup. They may ask you to change your diet or prescribe some medication to help remedy or enhance your condition. When your finances are in need of a check up, you need to go see a financial professional. They may ask you to change some of your spending habits or put you on a plan that will help or remedy your financial situation. As a parent I feel very strongly that you have to model for your children the importance of appropriate financial planning and to start creating positive financial habits at an early age. Sean Covey says in his book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “First you make your habits, then your habits make you.” When children and young adults begin to incorporate the strategies mentioned above, they maximize the time value of their money and more importantly create habits that become lifestyle.
Asante Sana,
Marc L. Wilson
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